Time Lost

The fact that this post is coming so long after the prior one truly shows what kind of person I am. A procrastinator. I didn't forget about this blog, my blog, over the time since I last wrote. On the contrary I think about it all the time! I wonder what I will write next, and where I left off and what I should focus on in my life. There is absolutely so much to write about that I don't know where to start! To make myself feel better, I am going to provide a link to an article I was introduced to in my Conflict Resolution Psychology class yesterday that talks about the downfalls of being a pre-crastinator and how procrastinating can actually bring about more creative work. Progress and efficiency versus creativity and innovation? Hmm, I'd like to think that my keen ability rush and do things quickly is a strength in its own convoluted way. Like I said, I didn't forget about my blog when I wasn't working on it. I just had so many ideas I wasn't ready to commit to just one and start writing (that is, until I was bored in the library before my only class of the day at noon so I figured I'd take a crack at it).

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/17/opinion/sunday/why-i-taught-myself-to-procrastinate.html?_r=0

Read it, it will make you feel better about all those times you put something off to the last minute and envied the smart planner who got it all done weeks ago.

But back to reality and the whole point of this blog: reflection on my days. How poetic.

When I last wrote I spoke about how I had come to terms on my new independence, one I didn't necessarily ask for. I am so happy (and relieved) to say that I have grown from that post, it was honestly very cathartic. Since then I have had my friend come and visit me in Portland, gone home to New York to see friends and family, come back to Portland and am on my third week of my second quarter at Portland State.

Karin Rose, my oldest friend, came out to Portland for a week in December and booked the two of us a room at the McMenamins Crystal Hotel in Portland. We had a great time, it was nice for both of us I think to have the other to talk to about life, school and the gentlemen in our lives. Being such old friends, we seem to skip over the small talk and just go right for the embarrassing stories of misadventures and complete candor about what we think about our lives currently. I won't say that guys don't do the same thing, this kind of tell-all friendship where you talk for hours about a combination of deeply personal anecdotes and raunchy jokes and tales has no gender preference. What I will say is ladies do it better, on average. That's all!

We rode the bus and train all over Portland, going to Pittock Mansion to walk around the foggy grounds and rooms of lives long outlived. We shopped non-stop, for all manner of things. Karin even got a helix piercing at a tattoo shop we went to so I could get inked (I ended up not, but at least only Karin's mom had to deal with her nineteen year old daughter modifying her body randomly). Seeing a total of three movies over one week, we were real winners I must say. We got to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens at the Baghdad Theater, which was AMAZING. Despite craning our necks in the third front row to see the magnificence, it was a perfect experience. I mean, we got to eat pizza in our seats at a unique theater in a fun part of Portland, #memories if I do say so myself.

One of the best parts was vegging out in the Crystal Hotel's hot pool in the basement while talking to Karin about my time in Portland, honestly and raw. As someone has struggled in her own time with feeling alone and unproductive, she had some great advice. She also told me I need a boyfriend when she isn't there. Can't beat the advice of a best friend!

Going home was great though. I spent everyday with friends and family, doing things I had daydreamed about in class at PSU. Catching up with my mom and assuring her that I was doing just fine in Portland was needed on her behalf, but her hugs and cooking were all I wanted in all honesty.

I really do love that woman.

My dad got an Xbox One for Christmas from my mom, and Fallout 4 to play on it, so we bonded over killing raiders and mole rats, all the while helping people along the way. I got to hangout with my niece and nephew who (shocker) grew like two weeds over just three months. Sure I got tackled to no end and a few times I lost hair to someone stepping on it while playing on the couch, but there are things I am okay with if it means I get to tickle and love Shia and Sean again, in person!

I got to see my Grandpa, who is the only grandparent I've ever had, and listen to his anecdotes about nursing home life. He was a Seabee in the Navy before getting all domesticating and working for IBM for a few decades, and his service inspires me. It's because of him I may just join the Nacy after graduation....but don't tell my mom.

And New Years. For the first time in months I felt like a real teenager, and for the first time in my life, I acted like one on this wonderful day. All I will say on this wide web of our modern day is that I have the best friends in Ali and Matt, they are smart, resilient people who are extremely loyal. I love them. That is all.

And now I'm back in Portland and loving it! I am taking 20 credits, applying to be an RA next year here at PSU (I've been working on my application for an entire month) and basically just kicking ass with how hard I am working. I feel good. I have friends, I have an outlet for my energy and I have a supportive family.